No answers

Today, I really didn't get any answers from the doctor. At first he said my pap looked fine and then Sammie and I decided to do the Ultrasound. In the beginning, I didn't see anything and he didn't either. I mean this baby is tiny right now. Honestly, I didn't think that I was so early. I thought I was at least another week with how the tests were. Anyways, we did some blood work to see what my hormone levels are and then I go in again on friday to see if they have gone up. The doctor also wanted me to have another ultrasound done to see if the baby is growing. The same thing happened with lucy. When I look back and remember her 4 week ultrasound I just remember her being bigger and NOT hard to find! :( It is all in the Lord's hands. I have peace with it. I feel that if it happens, it does. If it doesn't, its doesn't. I will say that I feel more grateful. I have been so whiney about this whole process, and complaining about how fast it happened, but I have decided to be more grateful! It says in the Bible that Babies are rewards!!! I can do this. I will deal either way! I will enjoy more time with Lucy, but I am also grateful for the opportunity that the Lord has given me to be a mother to another child. I really do feel like this one is another girl. I changed the name, since trying to figure out a name made me feel better. It still doesn't feel real. I mean its just a bunch of cells right now! It doesn't even have a heartbeat!!! It really is amazing how life is created! Anyways, we changed the name to Lainey Elizabeth Meade. I feel that it is a good strong name, with names that have strong meanings!! Well tomorrow is Ms. Lucy Meade's sixth month check-up!! That means shots! :( I hate it! I hate seeing her so upset, but she has to have 'em. Luckily, the shots are free when you don't have insurance. That means we don't have to pay out the butt for her check-up!! She is sooooo funny! I love seeing her develope everyday and I think thats what drives me crazy or scares me about the new one!! I can't imagine being so incredibly happy with the next one or as excited about how she develops, but I will!! And ya'll know the other thing that scares me...the balance. Balancing this baby and Lucy!!! I love my girl! She is suuuuch a Momma's Girl!!! Love her! Anyways, I promised an update, here it is. Maybe I will have more info on Friday!