Good Mood Food.

This pregnancy is soooo different..so far. The further I am into it the more I feel pregnant. I have started having some morning sickness. In fact, I had some this morning when lucy woke up at four (I don't know why). Anyways, despite the sickness, I have been having A LOT of cravings and just like last pregnancy I have to have it or I will be sick if I eat anything else. One of the things that I am absolutely head over heals for are Burger King's Chicken Sandwiches. Here is a song/poem of how I feel about those sandwiches:

Lettuce, Mayo, Chicken, & Bread,

Sounds like something my baby needs

to be fed.

You started with a thought,

I wanted a coke Icee,

But you are what I got.

Man, you sure do know how

to hit the spot.

I know you are unhealthy,

but get in my dang belly!

O NO! Sandwich you are all gone!

But its ok, cause getting another one,

won't take long!

Of course, after writing this I feel like a heffer. I mean I know if I told you that I got a king size package of Reese's Minis and a king size package of Red Vines (Got them because they are low in calories..unlike the Reeses) you would probably agree with me. Honestly, I don't see how being pregnant is an excuse to turn into a wild african animal that hasn't been fed in years, but its been really hard to control anything. That includes my emotions and my irritability. At one moment, I am ok. The next, I might crying or wanting beat something up or screaming. Nothing makes you feel crazier than being pregnant! Ta- Ta for now!

No answers

Today, I really didn't get any answers from the doctor. At first he said my pap looked fine and then Sammie and I decided to do the Ultrasound. In the beginning, I didn't see anything and he didn't either. I mean this baby is tiny right now. Honestly, I didn't think that I was so early. I thought I was at least another week with how the tests were. Anyways, we did some blood work to see what my hormone levels are and then I go in again on friday to see if they have gone up. The doctor also wanted me to have another ultrasound done to see if the baby is growing. The same thing happened with lucy. When I look back and remember her 4 week ultrasound I just remember her being bigger and NOT hard to find! :( It is all in the Lord's hands. I have peace with it. I feel that if it happens, it does. If it doesn't, its doesn't. I will say that I feel more grateful. I have been so whiney about this whole process, and complaining about how fast it happened, but I have decided to be more grateful! It says in the Bible that Babies are rewards!!! I can do this. I will deal either way! I will enjoy more time with Lucy, but I am also grateful for the opportunity that the Lord has given me to be a mother to another child. I really do feel like this one is another girl. I changed the name, since trying to figure out a name made me feel better. It still doesn't feel real. I mean its just a bunch of cells right now! It doesn't even have a heartbeat!!! It really is amazing how life is created! Anyways, we changed the name to Lainey Elizabeth Meade. I feel that it is a good strong name, with names that have strong meanings!! Well tomorrow is Ms. Lucy Meade's sixth month check-up!! That means shots! :( I hate it! I hate seeing her so upset, but she has to have 'em. Luckily, the shots are free when you don't have insurance. That means we don't have to pay out the butt for her check-up!! She is sooooo funny! I love seeing her develope everyday and I think thats what drives me crazy or scares me about the new one!! I can't imagine being so incredibly happy with the next one or as excited about how she develops, but I will!! And ya'll know the other thing that scares me...the balance. Balancing this baby and Lucy!!! I love my girl! She is suuuuch a Momma's Girl!!! Love her! Anyways, I promised an update, here it is. Maybe I will have more info on Friday!

CRAZY

I have had a crazy day. I am exhausted. I just can't seem to get enough sleep!! Me...me...me...ugh Today, Lucy had issues with constipation. It took all day and a lot of prune juice to finally help her to pass all that she needed to pass. :( After she passed everything, she had a fever of 96 degrees! I didn't like that at all! Luckily it came down after some Ibuprofen and a little snooze. It is so hard to see your little baby in so much pain! I have been that stopped up and it is no fun! I have been in some pain for some time. It is not like cramping, which is what you would have normally with an early pregnancy, it is sharp pains on my right side and hip area. I wouldn't necassarily be worried about it, if it weren't just on one side. I wouldn't be so nervous if it were cramping instead of these sharp, stabbing pains!! This pregnancy has been nothing like my first. My first was less emotional and more physical. I was so sick, but had more energy. This one, I feel like I have NO energy and I cry aaaalllll the time. Like, I thought the first time I cried a lot....no, no way. And the way Lucy was today didn't make it any better. So, I go to the doctor tomorrow. We will see what he says and if he does an Ultrasound. I wouldn't mind it if he did, just so we could see that everything is ok. I want to enjoy Lucy as much as possible while I have this time by ourselves!! I would really hate it, if this got in the way. I know that probably sounds bad. Maybe even selfish, but I want my time with her!!! I mean I don't want my time taken away NOW! Its already going to be less time when the other baby gets here. I don't want that to start now!!!! She is such a Momma's Girl, too. I love how she is starting to reach out for me when she wants to be picked up or comforted. Or, how she puts her arms around me and her face in my neck! Those are such sweet moments and I want to eat them all up. I guess what I am afraid of is that she won't be as attached to me when the baby gets here, which is probably a good thing, but I want her to know that I love her just as much after the baby as I did before! Maybe I am being silly! It is so hard to wrap my mind around some things right now. Sammie's 28th Bday was yesterday. He didn't really want to celebrate, but I decided to surprise him at work with a cake and some lunch. It was fun and nice to eat lunch with him like we used too when he worked at Cracker Barrel! He had school last night, too. Mondays are so busy for him, but luckily he has only three classes left until he graduates. We will be having a party the night of his graduation, so anyone is welcome who reads this! He is very excited to finally be done with school! Well I was going to write more, but honestly I am just to tired! I will update the blog tomorrow so everyone knows what the doctor says. Ta-Ta for now!

Surprises

So I am not going to put anything on Facebook yet, but I wanted to I guess vent in way. Yesterday, I had gone to buy a little bottle of gin. Well, when I got back home I wanted to take a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn't pregnant before I drank. It came back positive with the faintest of lines. I told Sammie then said I was going to get more. I took another one and it was a more expensive brand and that one was an obvious positive. Of course, by this point I am just a little freaked out.

I woke up this morning pretty much thinking it was all a dream. I decided to go to Walgreens and get a digital one since all the pregnancy tests I was taking all had faint lines. (The one earlier was obvious, but still faint.) At this point, I needed to see the word. I was in denial I guess. So I get home this morning and luckily I had to pee! I took it and two minutes later it came up with the words. There is just no denying it now. I am pregnant with our second child.

Of course, since Sammie changed jobs, we won't have insurance for another month. So after May 9th I will go to the doctors office. I am most likely due December or the beginning of Janurary. I am grateful, but Sammie and I were by no means planning this. I am glad that Lucy will have a close sibling. I am sure they will be the best of friends. Personally, I believe its a girl. I want to name her Addison (because I love the name) Cheryl (After Sammies aunt) Meade.

My brother and I were five years apart. So, it was like being raised only children. I am so glad that I will be able to give Lucy an experience I haven't experienced. Despite my brother and I being so far apart we are all still really close. Thats how my family is and thats what I love about my family. They put love and forgiveness first and realize the everyone is going to make mistakes. We communicate if we have a problem and if there is a bridge burnt down, then we build it back up. I hope and pray that the family that I am creating and have right now with Sammie, will be like that!

I do have concerns too. I love Lucy Meade so much. I can't imagine loving something as much as I love her! She is such a JOY!!!! She is a light. She laughs so much and there is nothing like going to places and people telling me I have such a happy baby! Its wonderful. LOL! Anyways, I know people that have had babies this close together and were ok! I believe in my abilities. I also believe in the promise that Christ doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

I am also incredibly lucky to have a man that, I think, was more excited when I told him than me! This will definately different. I will certainly breastfeed, but since I will have Lucy I will probably supplement with formula...especially at night. :) I hope I have good time management skills!!! Anyways, despite that this will be hard, I think it could be a fun adventure! Well, Ta-Ta for now!