I know that I haven't updated my blog in a while. I have had so many things to write about. Having two kids is an amazing and challenging thing. So challenging that it can be overwhelming at times.
So, this past weekend was my birthday. It was an amazing weekend. I had lots of fun and paid for it the next day. It was also a humbling experience. My parents came to visit and that made me feel really loved, but it was also humbling. My house was a mess. It was total and complete crap. It wasn't until my mom said something, that I realized what was going on with me. My house had been so messy I didn't know where to start and I was depressed. Everytime I thought about cleaning a sickening, panicky feeling stuck itself in my gut. What do I do? Where do I start? AAAAH! Piles are laundry. Clothes and toys everywhere! It was embarassing. Well, I have done what most stay at home moms have done and created a schedule. Here it is:
Monday: Our bedroom, A load of laundry, Kitchen
Tuesday: Lucy's Bedroom, A load of Laundry, Kitchen
Wedns.: Lainey's bedroom, A load of Laundry, Kitchen
Thursday: Our Bathroom, A load of Laundry, Kitchen
Friday: Living room, A load of laundry, Kitchen
So far, it worked well today. The kitchen is ok. I did a couple of loads of laundry, and I got the bedroom cleaned up. I wasn't able to vacuum though. This brings me to my rules for the schedule. I clean those rooms that day and ONLY that day. If I miss something, then it will get done the following day it is suppose to be cleaned. That way I don't feel things piling on top of me. If I find that I have some extra time another day, and the kids are ok, then maybe I can do what I wasn't able to. When my house is this messy, I feel SO out of control and fearful! After this previous weekend, I really did feel humbled. I also felt convicted, because I felt that I had really taken advantage of my husband. His acceptance of the house was so sweet, but I really needed to stop taking advantage of him! He works so hard! I need to be more organized. I think this schedule helps with this. It makes me feel in more of control of something I NEED to be in control of!! It also eliminates that panicky feeling.
Even though I have made this schedule, today is PROOF that sometimes, things just aren't going to get done....
Lucy got sick last week and I am pretty sure whatever she had, Lainey got today. It always starts after nap time! I was picking up the bedroom and it was ready to be vacuumed when crap hit the fan. Lainey was sleeping in my bed, because she was so upset! I didn't want her to keep Lucy up. Well, I picked her up to take her into the other room so I could clean the floors and my first thought was "crap". I took her temp and sure enough she had a 102.2 fever!! Well, while I was taking her temp, she pooed and peed EVERYWHERE!!!!! My next thought: "bath time"! I got her into the bath and she starts to scream. Then, Lucy starts to scream. I go and check on Lucy and she has stuff all over her. She had dumped my FULL glass of water with strawberry/watermelon MIO all over her and on the floor. My sanity started to leave. I got her naked, then went and got Lainey out of the tub. I have Lainey in my arms and I lift her tub up to empty it and when I think it is drained, I hang it on the shower rod to dry. It was not drained and I dumped a good amount of water all over the side Lainey wasn't on. I have to get Lucy in the tub now.... did I mention that BOTH kids are still screaming???? Well, I get Lucy in the tub and I am trying to get Lainey dressed. After I got her dressed, I go in and wash Lucy, pull her out, and when I pull her out, I hit myself with Lainey's tub that was hanging on the rod, which falls off.... and they are still screaming. I get Lucy dressed, I change my clothes, and then I cuddle with Lainey to try and comfort her. They just keep on crying. I finally get Lainey to sleep and fed Lucy a snack and they stopped for a little while.... I just had NO time for vacuuming! The beauty of the schedule is that the vacuuming will get done next Monday...hopefully...and tomorrow I will pick of Lucy's room! I call it the "Scarlett O'Hara schedule".
My goal is that my girls will have a clean home and something we can ALL take pride in. It has taken me 3 months since Lainey was born, but I think this could be the beginning of me knowing how to balance things. That said, Lainey is also sleeping most of the night now and is on more of a schedule. That makes things easier, too.
Life is certainly a new adventure with two babies. Lucy is having a hard time listening...and obeying! I am spanking her and really trying to train her, but maybe I am not being consistent or something because she still touches those damn TV remotes. I want to be able to enjoy my kids, like it says in the Bible, by properly training them! One of these days, I want to wake up and not have to worry about what my child is touching while I am in the bathroom because she knows better not to touch certain things! It is possible!!! If I just put her in the pack n'play or keep moving things around, what is that really teaching her? That she can't touch them over there, but she can touch them when they're here. I think it is possible and I know I can gain the wisdom to train my kids in the best way. She is smart and she does know what NOT to touch. How? By the fact that I will come in with a remote in her hand, sneak up on her and say "what do you have Lucy?", she will drop the remote as if she never had it, and run off. O yes, she knows better! It is just so hard to be consistent, but I can do this. The more consistent I am, the more I will be able to enjoy her and we will be able to enjoy one another, and I think the less crazy I will feel. I do not want to be a yeller. I don't like it. I feel it can be damaging and I have noticed, I have done it more this past week or two. So the more consistent I am, I think the better parent I will be.
Anyways, sorry this was so long. I just had a lot on my mind. Hope everyone out there is doing well! I am gonna go feed a baby now!
